At prayer today, I was thinking of my own misery and sins. But then I was thinking about the Saints who also felt their misery and sins very deeply. But the difference with the Saints was that they knew their need for God. They depended on God totally because of their misery.
Sometimes perhaps I can say that I am miserable but I can remain in my sins, not depending on God as I should to help me. Therefore in a way, I can also say that I don't realise fully my own misery. I know that St Faustina, St. Therese and St. Francis of Assisi and many other Saints felt acutely aware of their sins but they were also aware of Gods great and tender Mercy. They invoked God constantly for help with their weaknesses and sins. Their prayer life was intense and constant. I think this is why I as a Christian can fail so much, because I depend too much on my own strength and not on Gods. My prayer life is not always heartfelt, sincere or contrite. By seeing my own weaknesses and humbling myself to God in Confession with everything and entrusting Him with everything, He can do more with me...without Him I cannot do what He would like me to, which ultimately is His will for my life.
One of the ways I can realise more my own misery and my need for God, is by meditating on the Passion of Christ. By meditating daily on the wounds of Christ I can begin to see my sins, and what they did to Jesus and how much I need Him to help me to overcome my sins. He suffered for me, was struck because of me, was scourged because of my sins, was rejected because of my sins, had nails driven deeply into His hands and feet because of my sins, He bled for me on the cross, He forgave and He died for me......all this out of love for me. He is my Redeemer, He overcame sin and death....and by His wounds I can be healed.
Isaiah 53:5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God have mercy on me a sinner....
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